The year in review...

So last night was sort of an INTENSE and EMOTIONAL night.  You see, I had an appt w/ my therapist, only it was the last appt w/ her for who knows how long.  As of today, Oct. 1st, my mental health benefits have changed providers and she doesn't work w/ the new providers, so...to make a long story even longer(ha ha!), I can no longer afford to see her regularly, and I just don't know when I will get to see her again.  It's been a little over a year since I started seeing her too, so she really knows me and we've worked so hard and so well together on a lot of issues in my life.  Oh, not to mention that I was so deeply depressed a year ago when I moved to L.A.  I had my plate full, but full of the wrong things and the wrong people.  I've definitely come a long way in the last year.  I see it, and it makes me HAPPY, it really does!  I mean, I'm in such a better place these days, mentally and emotionally.  I may not have millions of friends out here, but I have a hand full of GREAT and GENUINE friends out here.  They have definitely contributed to my uprising in the last year, and I love them all.  I have a lot to learn and a lot to work on still w/ many relationships and areas of my life, but I'm ready for it.  Now more than ever I am ready for it.  And because of working w/ my therapist I am prepared and ready to conquer so much and move forward w/ so much in life.  I feel that good things are a brewing.  Good things are gonna happen and are going to come my way.  I have no idea what they are or when they will come, but I'm excited!  I feel the wheels turning!!!!  If only they would just start slinging the good things in my direction...ha ha!!  

So although I wanted to start crying my eyes out last night when I said goodbye and walked out of my therapist's office, I didn't.  I felt sad, and I am, but in a way I also felt very happy and very accomplished of the work she and I have done together.  I will be haunted by her voice and visuals of her face when the "RED FLAGS" start to go off.  HA!  I'm laughing out loud right now just thinking about it, but she will be in the back of my brain, helping me through all of my trials and tribulations in the future.  And hopefully some day soon I will get to sit on her couch again.