Seattle: Part 1

Seattle is a city that holds many memories for me. I don't even know where to begin, other than I spent a lot of time in that city and the surrounding area at the peak of my adolescents. I also spent a lot of time in Seattle w/ my 1st BF, Brett. Again, the peak of my adolescents. The NW is truly where my heart belongs.

Seattle has been haunting me for the past few months. Every one of my friends back in the Pacific NW wants me to move back home for 1 reason or another, and they aren't shy about voicing it either. Lately the new people I seem to meet here in L.A. seem to have some tie to Seattle. They are either from there or moving L.A. to go there. Just the other day at work I was scanning through some clip art DVDs I have at work for Hi-Res photos. All of the cityscape photos were of Seattle. I just thought that was odd, and haunting. It's the winter time and I just wanna get back to my roots and ride. All of my guy friends want me back on the mtn to ride with, and to be honest, I just wanna get back on that mtn and ride with them. So what do I do???

I have this magic #5 in my brain lately. Like, I'll probably hang in L.A. for another 5 years and then head back to the NW. But when I really think about it, in 5 years I'll be 33 or 34 yrs. old, and if I'm moving at that age, well, that only means that I'm most likely gonna be single, still w/out family of my own, and who knows if my career will be stable at that point (considering a move and all). It makes me nervous just thinking about making a BIG move like that at such an important age (we can get into the age thing at another time). So again, what do I do? What if I can't wait 5 years? And honestly, what am I so afraid of here in L.A.? Something's going on...

I'm totally impatient right now which is pretty rare cause I'm usually pretty decent when it comes to being patient, but the city of Seattle is haunting me right now, and everyday I have thoughts about it. I have thoughts about moving. This is awful! If I'm having such strong reoccurring thoughts on a daily basis like this it's only gonna ruin me for the rest of the time that I'm in L.A. (and who knows how long that will be). I think these thoughts are gonna have to stop. I have no choice, right? I wanna have the BEST experiences I can have and the GREATEST experiences that my life has to offer me, no matter where I am at. And there is no rule book to LIFE, so I guess anything goes. So if there comes a time to leave L.A. and head back to Seattle, then so be it. It just sucks right now, cause I want to force that move so BAD right now.

Patience is the word.