So I kinda had this feeling I might get a phone call or text or something thrown my way from Ken today. In the past I've always been the one to call him and wish him a Happy Holiday, and not just on Christmas, but on every other holiday in the year too...not this year though. I sorta thought about him today, but the thought started and ended right there. I'm over it and I'm moving on and I don't need to be wishing him a Happy anything. He's not even in my thoughts any longer(accept for the thought today).
He keeps sending these texts that are very heartfelt and reminiscent of our past together(probably cause he's alone on Xmas and thinking about me). They are sweet and nice, but they are not what I want to hear. I'm over the past and the time he and I had together. I don't want to even reminisce. There's nothing there, the feelings are gone. The mental pictures are there, but the feelings that should be associated just don't exist any longer.
It sucks to hear him say he always thinks about us and what if...yah, what if? I mean, I use to have those thoughts 24/7 about him and I, but I was forced to knock it off. I wasn't given any choice other than to SNAP out of it and move on. So I did. Guess this is the craziness that life throws at us. This is the twisty, turning, unfair, "why me" type of thing, but...it is what it is.
I just hate that he's still thinking about me and what if. I hate that he still makes jokes about me climbing through the computer to be w/ him. Sure, it was cute when we did the long distance shit, but now it's just not funny. I don't know if he thinks I'm joking or what, but he's not really taking me serious when I tell him I'm over him. Oy! What to do?
So I guess that is my update for you on Ken. I don't want to do this "cycling" thing w/ him, and so I've stopped initiating communication on my end. I'm done. I'm over it.
Merry Christmas...HA!
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