So this is dating?

So I just had to flash back to my most recent relationship, which was 2.5yrs ago...ha!
I just started thinking what it was like when Chris and I first met and started hanging out and getting to know each other.
I just had to remember what it was like, cause I have to be honest, dating and getting to know people right now in my life seems like so much work and is such a challenge. I've never had to spend so much time on this shit called DATING!!!! It's wearing me out!

So I started to remember back to when I first started seeing Chris (and no, I have no want or need to be w/ him or anything like that anymore...we've been over for 2.5yrs and he's been on my shit list for 2.5yrs). But I just remember that he would actually pick up the phone and call me. He wanted to spend time w/ me. He wanted to spend his weekends w/ me. He wanted to hang out w/ my friends. He cooked for me and for my friends. He wanted to share lil parts of his day w/ me. He trusted me and confided in me. At one point, I trusted in him and confided in him too. I just remember it was so easy. Getting to know him and spending those first few weeks/months w/ him was so easy and so amazingly enjoyable! Why does DATING and getting to know someone now have to be so awfully hard and painful? Why are there so many egos involved? Why can't people just be themselves? And more importantly, if you like me and want to spend time w/ me why don't you ask me out on the weekend? Why don't you want to spend more time w/ me? I guess I'm just not use to dating "L.A." guys. I don't know that I ever will be, cause I seem to be having such issues w/ one right now. Bad thing is that he doesn't know I feel this way. How do you tell someone you're dating that you feel a lil neglected and unimportant to them. I mean, do I mean anything? Or is this just something for him to pass the time? My friend Gary made a comment tonight that sometimes when a guy is dating a girl that it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. It just is what it is. Man oh man did that put a damper on my mood about D.B. Could that be what is going on right now? Could it be that dating D.B. means nothing?

Oy!
I'm a total freakshow, once again.
I've got to go.
I've got to put some things to rest right now or else...